


X-Ray

by HellsLittleLiar



Series: Prompts [17]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (Temporarily), Angst, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsLittleLiar/pseuds/HellsLittleLiar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony breaks his leg and freaks out.<br/>He could never be good enough for Steve.</p><p>Part 17 of my 100 Prompts Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	X-Ray

“No” Tony gasped out painfully. “No, no, no, no, no, please no.”  
“Tony,” Steve frowned. “It’s just for a check-up. They probably won’t even have to do anything. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”  
Tony whined and wrapped his hands around his leg. It hurt so much. He didn’t want to go to the hospital. He wasn’t scared of hospitals or anything.

He wasn’t.  
He wasn’t scared, alright?  
For God’s sake, he’s not scared.  
Okay.  
Maybe he was. Just a little bit.  
He was scared of the hospital.

He didn’t want to wake up groggy with some complete stranger towering over him and informing him that they had to perform emergency surgery on his heart. He didn’t want to wake up in a cave in the middle of a desert where he was surrounded by people who didn’t speak English and shouted at him in languages he didn’t understand and forced him under water when he didn’t immediately do what they said and he could feel their hands on him - he could feel their hands all over him. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. 

“Tony!” A voice broke through. Steve. “Tony, it’s okay. Look at me. It’s going to be alright. You don’t have to go to the hospital. I won’t let them hurt you, Tony. Breathe with me, okay?”  
Tony realised that he was gasping for breath, but with great effort managed to slow down his breathing to match the tempo of his teammate’s. 

Steve was crouched next to him with hands outstretched as though about to pull him into a hug, but thinking better of it halfway through. Tony was glad. He couldn’t have anybody else touching him right now. He didn’t want any more hands on him. He was dirty enough as it was without adding the guilt of Steve touching him and getting the filth on him. Tony was grateful that Steve did not want to touch him but it still kind of hurt.

Once Tony’s breath reached regular levels, Steve shifted forward.  
“Tony, I need to know what set you off so I can avoid doing it again.” He said in a gentle voice, as though afraid he was going to break Tony if he was too loud. Tony hated it and appreciated it at the same time. He didn’t enjoy being treated like some sort of damsel in distress, but he was sure that any loud noises at that time would send him back into a panic attack.  
Tony swallowed, trying not to show Steve how dry his mouth was. “Hospital.” He rasped. Damn it. “Hands. On me. Everywhere. Hands everywhere.”

He couldn’t say anything more. Steve hushed him anyway. “It’s alright, Sweetheart,” Sweetheart? “You don’t have to explain everything to me right now.” Steve comforted.  
Tony attempted to stand up, only to collapse under his own weight and the almost forgotten pain in his right leg which had flared up immediately as he used it. Tony whimpered and tears sprung to his eyes.

Steve rushed forwards and this time did not hesitate in touching him. Steve scooped him up from the floor and held him up princess style. Tony hid his smile in Steve’s neck. Princess. Tony could be a princess if that’s what Steve wanted. Steve would never want Tony, though, he thought to himself sadly, looking up at the blonde man with large, brown doe-eyes.

Steve looked back down at him with a severe and manly Captain America stern look on his face. “Tony, you have to get that leg checked out.”  
“I can’t, Cap, I can’t go to the hospital.” Tony was practically begging, as he clung to the Captain’s biceps and stared at him with pleading eyes. “Don’t make me. Please don’t take me there.”

Steve rocked him like he was a baby. “Don’t worry, Darling, I won’t take you to the hospital. Stark Tower has a medical wing, doesn’t it? I’ll take you there.”  
Tony nodded and then tucked his head underneath Steve’s chin. He felt Steve swallow. He hoped he wasn’t the one making the man nervous. He didn’t know what he would do if he found out Captain America despised him more than he realised. Tony knew Steve didn’t like him but that didn’t mean he couldn’t live in his little fantasy world where they were acquaintances without any major influential feelings towards each other.

How pathetic was he? His fantasies involved simply not being hated. He could have been dreaming about fucking Steve into the mattress but no, he was so filled with self-loathing that he couldn’t even bare to pretend that Captain America could possibly hold slightly friendly feelings towards him.

At hearing Steve’s suggestion, Tony relaxed. Stark Tower. He knew everyone who lived or worked at the tower and he liked to think that he was on friendly terms with at least the majority of them, so there’s no way he would end up waking up to a stranger standing next to him if they did need to put him under anaesthetic. He would still refuse it if it was offered to him but in case they insisted he would know where he was and who they were. 

The gentle rocking of Steve’s walking was sending him off to sleep and by the time they reached the tower, he was only half conscious. He perked up slightly when they entered the building and then his eyes shot wide open once they reached the medical floor.  
Dr. Cho approached them.  
“What has he done to himself now?” She asked Steve.  
Steve grinned at her guiltily, although he had absolutely no reason to look like that. It wasn’t his fault.  
“He rescued some kids from a burning building and it collapsed on him just as he was getting the last one out. The kids are fine but I think Tony’s leg is broken.”  
Tony made a protesting noise. He was perfectly capable of telling the doctor what happened himself, thank you very much. Even if he had no intention to. And was planning on just letting her believe that he hurt himself selfishly and recklessly because he did not deserve to be treated after how disgusting being captured in a cave in Afghanistan had made him. 

This was also partly selfish because he could never do anything completely selflessly. If Dr Cho didn’t think he deserved to be treated, then maybe she wouldn’t treat him and then she would just be a friend or an employee of his and not a doctor who could take him to a hospital or give him sleeping pills at any minute. It was because of this that Tony was almost always on guard around Dr Cho. When she wasn’t wearing her long, white coat she suddenly became more accessible and less intimidating to him.

Steve lay Tony out on the examination table and Tony gulped as the blond moved away. Tony managed to grab the man’s hand before he left completely, looking at him in a panic. Steve must have seen the fear in Tony’s eyes and taken pity on him because he moved back to the side of the examination table and enfolded Tony’s hand in both of his.

Dr Cho witnessed this silently, then cleared her throat. “Shall we begin?”  
Steve smiled at her. “Of course.”  
Tony drew several deep breaths and then nodded his assent. She inspected his leg, feeling around the ankle and the knee. “Where exactly does it hurt, Mr Stark?”  
“My thigh.”  
She gave him an unimpressed look and he pouted. He wasn’t flirting for once! That was really where it hurt!  
“Alright,” She consented eventually. “I believe you.” She moved up to look at his thigh and he yelped when her hand made contact with the bone. Steve was confused.  
“Why would he be lying?” He enquired. Tony grinned down at his thigh. Steve was so adorably oblivious sometimes. Dr Cho shook her head. “Never mind.” She said, then redirected her attention to Tony. “I think your leg is broken, I’m going to have to x-ray it.”

Tony felt the blood drain from his face. An x-ray was one of the many things he was hoping to avoid.  
“You can do that here, though, can’t you?” Captain America demanded.  
Dr Cho looked startled. “Yes - I - yes, I can.”  
“If you have the facilities, then we would appreciate it if you treated all of the Avengers on site or at Stark Tower.” His tone turned friendlier but he wore the same smile he had while selling war bonds; a false one.  
Dr Cho shot off to set up the x-ray equipment to scan Tony’s leg and all the while Steve mumbled reassurances into Tony’s hair. Tony was certain that he had a dream like this when he was eleven and Howard had broken his leg for the third time. Maybe he was just reliving that? It was more likely than it actually happening after all.  
“It’s okay, Baby, I’m here. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Tony didn’t mind x-rays really. They weren’t what scared him about hospitals but he wasn’t about to complain or argue with captain america. 

Especially not when Captain America was so adamantly defending him. Despite the fact that he did not need defending from Dr Cho. It was very amusing and also extremely sweet. Steve had also started calling him fond pet names since his panic attack which both scared and comforted him. It was nice to know that Steve liked him enough to express that fondness but Tony didn’t want his filth rubbing off on the man. He didn’t want to be the one to smear Captain America’s (or Steve Rogers’) name. He had caused enough harm in his lifetime and he didn’t want to drag down any more innocent people with him. Especially not Steve. Darling Steve. He had hoped and wished that the man would not hate him but now the Captain was there, offering his friendship, Tony did not feel like he could accept it.

Still, he did not speak up.  
He selfishly allowed himself to bask in the glow of having his teammate’s attention focused entirely on him and nothing else. So this was what it was like to be part of Captain America’s team - someone who was cared for and defended and loved.  
Well, maybe not loved. (He wished Steve loved him.)  
Of course Steve didn’t love him. Steve could barely stand him most days! He was just being kind because Tony had a panic attack and he felt guilty that it was his fault. There was no other reason that Captain America (or anyone else) would call Tony “Sweetheart” without alternate motives. 

Dr Cho set up the x-ray equipment and Steve’s grip on Tony’s hand tightened as he appeared to growl under his breath. Dr Cho sent a few nervous glances at the threatening presence but got on with her work and mostly ignored him. Tony liked Dr Cho. She didn’t ask a lot of questions. She never refused to treat him even if he didn’t deserve it and she was the best medical doctor in the United States. He should give her a raise.

Note to self; talk to Pepper about giving Helen a raise.

A hologram of the leg’s x-ray appeared in front of them. Dr Cho frowned.  
“Your leg is broken in two places, here,” She pointed out a crack just above his knee. “And here.” She directed them towards a break in the middle of his thigh. Tony hissed. He had almost forgotten the pain when he was distracted with Steve’s unusual antics but now that he had been reminded of the fact his leg was broken, the pain seemed to come back full force.

Steve turned towards him, startled at the hiss, then turned back to face Dr Cho with a terrifying scowl on his face. Tony could tell it was his ‘Captain America is not impressed’ face and was, himself, very impressed when instead of cowering away, Dr Cho stood her ground and glowered right back. As she should. It wasn’t her fault Tony was hurt after all.

Steve let go of his hand and Tony mewled sadly. A second letter, though, Steve’s muscular arms wrapped gently around him and Tony melted into the warmth. He decided that he liked this better.

“I’m going to need to put a cast on your leg and you’re not allowed into the field for at least six months.” Dr Cho informed him authoritatively.  
He gave her a jaunty, two fingered salute. “Ma’am, yes, Ma’am.”  
She smiled at him. Steve’s arms tightened around him so Tony leaned backwards into the heavily defined chest, letting out a satisfied sigh. Like this, he could pretend, even if it was just for a moment.  
Steve buried his face in Tony’s hair and mumbled some more reassurances about how he would help Tony get through this and how Tony didn’t need to be scared. Tony looked up at Steve adoringly. If he squinted then it was almost as though Steve was the one milking this situation for all it’s worth. He avoided snorting out loud. As if.  
Tony still did not explain to Steve that x-rays and casts and things that involve being awake and surrounded by people he knows and likes were not what terrified him about hospitals. A broken leg was not the thing of panic attacks and nightmares.

Except where memories of Howard were concerned.

This was nothing like that though. Howard had been punishing Tony for being more intelligent than him despite only being a child. He had made Tony believe that he deserved it - that he deserved to be hurt and broken. He was just a kid.

He was just a kid.

Tony shook his head to clear his thoughts. This wasn’t about his dad. He was supposed to be enjoying this. He pressed further into Steve. Yes, this was very enjoyable, having Steve hold him safely in his arms and taking in the glowing warmth of the embrace. 

Tony let himself sit back and relax as Dr Cho applied the cast to his leg. Steve kept on mumbling even when Tony cracked out a few jokes about the situation to try and get Steve to take the hint that Tony was fine. Not that Tony minded that Steve was completely oblivious. He hoped that when Steve found out that Tony did not really need his help the majority of the time they had been in the medical wing (and he was obviously going to find out eventually - he wasn’t Captain America for nothing) that Steve wouldn’t be too angry at him.

Maybe Steve would take a swing at him. It would hurt but Tony could take it. It would be a lot better than Steve realising what he had done and then never talking to Tony again. Tony could take a beating but he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he managed to build even an acquaintanceship with Steve only for it to be taken away immediately because of his own idiotic actions.

Tony couldn’t bring himself to feel too guilty though. This may be the only time he is able to be held by Steve and he was planning on enjoying every moment of it, no matter the circumstances surrounding it. He shifted and ignored the pain in his leg to focus on the pleasing sensation of the Captain’s warm breath and soothing words washing over him. 

“It’s going to be okay, Honey.”  
Tony smiled sweetly up at Steve. “I know, Baby.” He joked, softly.  
Steve coughed and turned his face away, his cheeks dusting an affectionate pink. Tony drank in the sight like a dying man starved of water. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. What he wouldn’t give to have that man underneath him, begging for it.

But no. Of course he couldn’t.  
Tony would never be good enough for someone like Steve Rogers.  
That didn’t stop him from letting Steve pick him up once again in princess style and carry him all the way to his bedroom before gently placing him on the bed. Steve lingered for a few minutes as Tony drifted in and out of a shallow sort of sleep. After a while he turned to leave but Tony’s hand shot out and grabbed Steve’s wrist of it’s own free will.  
“Stay.” Tony asked Steve quietly, turning pleading, sleepy eyes up to the super soldier’s face. Steve looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Tony still could not bring himself to feel guilty over the situation. Steve was obviously much stronger than him - he could break away if he needed or wanted to. There was no way Tony could physically keep Steve there, so he kept his hand on the other man’s wrist and let him decide what he wanted to do.

Steve turned back towards Tony and, after only a moment’s hesitation, shuffled onto the bed next to him. Tony lifted the bed sheets in an invitation for Steve to join him under the covers. Steve took a deep breath and slid in next to the much smaller man. Tony sighed and lay his head down on his companion’s chest. He better take advantage of it while he had it, he thought, before Steve came to his senses and left him cold and alone.

Steve cuddled up to Tony and let out a pleased-sounding noise. He obviously didn’t mean to, as when Tony looked up at him, his entire face was painted red with blood rushing to his head. God, he was adorable.  
Tony fell asleep a lot faster than usual.  
He had no dreams. He had no nightmares. He simply was.  
It was the best night’s sleep he had ever had, there was no doubt about it.

-

In the morning, Tony woke up and Steve was still there, leaning up on one arm and staring at him. Tony grumbled. It was way too early for this. He rolled over to face his alarm clock and the numbers 8:39 blinked back at him.  
“Ugh.” He grunted, then buried his face in his pillow.

Steve let out a fond chuckle. “Tony, you can’t stay in bed forever.”  
“I can try!” Tony argued, rolling on to his back to face the blonde.  
Steve rolled his eyes. “If you get up now, I’ll make us both pancakes for breakfast.”  
Tony wrinkled his nose. Steve seemed to fixate on the action for the next couple of seconds before blinking a couple of times and grinning.  
“How about omelettes?”  
“Definitely not.”  
“French toast?”  
“Ew.”  
“Bacon and sausages?”  
“Nope.”  
“Okay, Tony, I give up. What do you want for breakfast?”

You.  
Oops. Tony had better keep that thought to himself. 

Steve choked on his own saliva and stared at Tony. Oh God. Tony had said that out loud, hadn’t he? He was certain that he had stopped doing that after his teenage years at MIT. But no, it had to manifest itself years later in the most inconvenient moment ever.  
He was going to go jump off a bridge.  
“Yes.” Steve breathed.  
Huh?  
“You- you can have me, Tony.” Steve told him. “I’ve been wanting you for such a long time. I never thought- I mean- I just figured that you weren’t interested in men or you weren’t interested in me. I barely even thought you wanted to be friends!”  
Tony stared.  
Steve wanted him. Steve had always wanted him? 

But Steve hated him. They had been fairly cruel to each other when they had first met.  
(“Everything special about you came out of a bottle”)  
Steve had been necessarily cruel back.  
(“Take the suit away and what are you?”)

Tony didn’t understand what was going on. But Steve was offering himself to him. (“You can have me, Tony.”) And the man was so sweet, so innocent, Tony was bound to corrupt him. 

Well, fuck that.

Steve was a grown man - he could make decisions for himself! And if Steve said that Tony was what he was what he wanted, then who was Tony to deny him. If Steve wanted a relationship with him or simply to have sex, Tony would give him what he wanted. It wasn’t like Tony would be sacrificing anything in the process of it.

So Tony curled a hand around the back of Steve’s neck and drew him in for a sweet and sensual kiss.

Tony smirked.  
“Baby, I’m gonna eat you for breakfast.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys appreciate how much effort I put into this one!  
> Please leave a comment if you liked it or if you think I should write another one from Steve's point of view.
> 
> Do you prefer shorter oneshots every day or longer ones like this one?
> 
> Part 17 of my 100 Prompts Challenge.
> 
> ______  
> You can now subscribe to my patreon to see original works from me! :)  
> https://www.patreon.com/hellslittleliar


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